Falling Through The Ice

Once again I am faced with a short issue that feels much longer.

My darling son, the one who has started to look more and more like James 

Dean or John Lennon with dishwater blond hair, has made me remember why

being a mom can be a bad thing.  Yesterday my son went for a walk.  He

does this on occasion.  We are trying to let him feel like he has some
measure of independence and as long as he stays on the campus we feel
okay about his safety.  However, he is an explorer. He is an adventurer.
He is the kind of child who likes to go and see if what you say is true.
Recently we have had a cold spell here in Xinzheng. It has been about
3-13 degrees outside at night especially.  It can get up to 30 or
sometimes even higher now that the weather is warming. But that means
that we have had snow. We have had ice. 

It has been cold.  Near our home there is a man made waterfall. It is a
little pleasant river that runs from the campus to the actual river that
runs through our campus.  The children are not allowed to play near the
waterfall. It is a very pretty thing but there are two problems with it.
 
First, while the campus is under construction the work men use it as a
toilet area.  (This is a big issue...I may have mentioned it before).  
Second,  The river water is frozen but not solidly.  The ice is thin and
you can see under it.  When my darling oldest son decided to go for a
walk alone yesterday, he chose to go against the wishes of his parents
and visit the waterfall.  And although we have explained the dangers of
the ice...how it is not all frozen, how it can break and people can fall
under it, how if they fall through it they can get really sick and even
die....although we have explained the dangers, our oldest son chose to
go for a walk out on the ice.  We were not with him.  He had told us
that he was walking up to the panda forest and would stay on the
sidewalks.  And low...He fell through the ice.

We are blessed.  The water came up to neck height and he was able to get
out of the river and back home.  When he got home he snuck in so that no
one could see him.  (I was teaching class and Bill was in the bathroom)
My husband came out and set up a show for the kids to watch. He asked
our son if he wanted to join the family and watch the movie.  Our son
refused the invitation from his room.  So there he stood for 40 minutes
in his wet clothes hiding the fact that he was all wet and watching the
movie from the doorway so he would not be seen.  Finally he was seen.
My husband rushed him in to the bathroom and cleaned him up and when
asked for an explanation to his soaking wet state he replied "someone
threw a bucket of water on me". 

I asked to see his shoes and his slippers and I noticed that they
were more than a little wet, more than a lot wet. They were soaked clear
through. 

So I sat him down and asked for an explanation.  He kept trying to get
out of it. And I told him that it was more important for him to tell us
the truth.  so he finally told us.  He had not told daddy that he had
fallen through the Ice because he did not want to be grounded.
He is grounded.  But he seems to be taking his punishment well and he
knows that we love him.  But I thought that you might like to know that
the same son who tried to electrocute himself when he was 18 months old
has tried to drown himself under ice at 8 years old.

Crissy

Addition from Will

Today we took william to the local doctor because he has been having lots of discolored wax in his ears, and complaining of hearing problems. We get to the doctor and he looks in williams ears. he doesn't speak english so he gets another student here to translate. Somehow he had compacted the wax in his ears, and it had plugged the ear almost completely on the ear drum. The discolorated liquid/pus was just the ear trying to get this out.
William then confessed to trying to clean out his ears about 2 weeks ago. My son sometimes is trying to hurt himself. The doctor had to have him hold very still while he had to grab out pieces of solidified ear wax, and to scrape it off of his ear drum.
In two days, my son has tried to drown himself under ice, and tried to make himself go deaf. He scares me so badly because he doesn't think he is in any danger.

Will

Voice of Will: Shanghai Part 2

2005-02-20 - 3:22 p.m.

So I never finished my shanghai trip.
We managed to get to the train station about 30 minutes early to catch the overnight train to shanghai.
In china the trains have 4 levels of comfort. Hard Seat, is just that, a bench seat with no divider, maybe cushions maybe not. Soft seat. You have a divided seat, with cushions (sometimes), hard sleeper (this is dormatory like, with 3 beds stacked to the ceiling, and the whole train is filled like this, and soft sleeper where you have a cabin with a door.

We managed to get hard sleeper (because didn't want hard seat, and didn't want the cost of the soft sleeper). When we got on the train we managed to get 2 of us in one section and the other one was in another section, even though our area was completely empty. So we just moved together. That wasn't going to work. After the train started the lady conductor comes down the walkway and tells our friend to get back in the other section. We try to talk to her and make a change, but we get the same answer, that bed might have been in use at some other station. We tried to explain that we could just swap, no big deal, but apparently it is a big deal to the conductor. Those other people (if they bought tickets) deserved their bed, and to not be moved. And she knew where each persons stop was, and wanted to make sure she could wake the person up, and it was toooooo much work to change the ticket location. Ok. We just stayed up until the next stop and when these people got on we got to swap beds.

Second big issue was the fact I put up a blanket to give some privacy to the section we were in, and to minimize the possibliltiy that someone would just reach in and grab something while walking past. Again same female conductor. NO that must come down. The bed that is on was paid for by someone else, and if you use their blanket they will have no blanket (at the time only 2 beds were being used, and during the whole trip only 4 out of 6 were used). Ok. Ask her if I can have another blanket. She brings one out, and i hang that one up. She hit the roof. Blankets belong on bodies, not hanging up in the air. If you want to use someones else's blanket you will have to pay for their bunk (100 RMB). and of course here comes her boss. He tells us if we want privacy we need to upgrade to a soft sleepter at (200 RMB) more. All of this because I was being individual and trying to have some privacy. The things the chinese putup with.

We get to shanghai the next morning, and check in to our hotel. It was nice, but far away from anything.
Shanghai is a big city (like 12 million people) and it is full of contrasts. In some areas I would swear I was in the villages outside of the town, and I'd turn a block, and be in the middle of a high tech neighborhood. What contrast.

Foreigners were everywhere, and most american products are here. Subway, pizza hut (x5), poppa johns pizza, mcdonalds, and even taco bell.
Now taco bell got me into trouble. You see, well actually you don't, so I'll explain. I am from the american southwest, so I'm very familiar with mexican food. I adore mexicn food. And there is nothing like it here in central china. Ok they can make a decent salsa, but no corn chips, and worst of all no cheese or sour cream. grrrr. So when I heard there was a taco bell resturant in shanghai I had to go.

So here I am walking down the busy shopping street packed with people looking for taco bell. I can't find it. I'm looking and looking and looking. and chinese hustlers keep trying to sell me things (rolex, nike, etc). These guys would fit in in New York, LA. One guy bumps into me and he is trying to sell me something in his right hand, but I feel his left hand go into my pocket. I'm not in the mood to be messed with so I reach down with my right hand and do a simple wrist lock (his hand was stuck in my pocket so I had the time). I step on his foot and rotate and put my knee in his chest and walk off. Now the question should be why?
I know how the pick pockets work. In a gang, and I thought a decent demonstration would have them leave me alone. wrong.

I'm at a stop light still looking for taco bell when a guy walks up and tries the old, "here look at my map, while I pick your pocket" trick. again I feel the hand going into my pocket, so I reach around him, and slip my hand into his outside jacket pocket and take his wallet. (for those of you who don't know me, I have some experience with this) and as I'm walking away, I hold up this wallet, take out 10 RMB and then throw the wallet over my shoulder.

By now you should be wondering a few things.

1. Where is my wallet?
2. How did I do this?
3. Why did I do this?

1. I carry my wallet inside a pocket on my inner shirt. So under an outer shirt, a sweater and a jacket a simple pick pocket cannot reach it. I would have to be naked in order to have someone pick that pocket, and if I was it is an entirely different issue.

2. Again I have some experience with marital arts, and with picking pockets when I was a kid.

3. My reason again was to create a distraction. by throwing the wallet over my shoulder, the thief had to retrieve his own wallet, which means I'm free to go. And lets be honest, I don't know if these pick pockets have weapons (knives, black jacks, clubs, shock guns) so I want to get away from them fast and hard.
So now comes my favorite part. I get to the river and am enjoying the view when I feel another hand go into my pocket. so I reach across my body with my left hand and grab the thiefs wrist, twist the wrist clockwise to pull the thief in front of me, where I pin him against the railing above the river, and I hear "Let goo of me bloomin thum" The accent is etiehr british or australian. I'm so shocked I almost let him go, but I leaned my hip into him. He goe son about how he was just joking around. at this point I have himin a thumb lock, and tell hm that i'm going to take that thumb back to zhengzhou with me as a souviner. I look over my shoulder and see a chinese police officer coming.

Now, I'm not sure how a foreigner would be treated for being a pick pocket in china, but I couldn't do that to him. so I tell him that he has 5 seconds to be out of my sight. 1.... 2... when he replies, "you need to let go of me thum" I do and he disappears.

3 attempted pick pockets in 30 minutes.

I did manage to find taco bell resturant at the other end of the street (back the way I came) had lunch there, and the sour cream is almost worth it, but lunch for three was 230 RMB. (to compare, we ate all we could eat at a reallllly nice chinese resturant for 70 for three).

Will

Voice of Will: First Chinese New Year for Jones Family

2005-02-16 - 1:02 p.m.
So we just celebrated chinese new year. The chinese and most asian countries have lunar calanders which is why they get to celebrate new years 2x a year. One on Jan 1 with the western calander, and once in about the 1st week of february.

How to describe it. Take all the festivities, and celebrations, and family traditions for 4th of july, labor day, thanksgiving, christmas and new years, now build all that up to one culminating day. That is kind of like chinese new year.

for the month before things slow down as people start to travel around the country (and world in many cases) in order to spend the new year with family. So what does this mean? In order to undestand, i estimate that about 25% of the countries population travel home. That would be about 400 million people btw (more than the population of the USA). This means reallllllly long lines at bus stations, and train stations. And even if you can fight your way to buy a ticket on transportation, it doesn't mean you have an actual seat. You have to fight to get one of thsoe too because everyone wants to sit down.

A good example. In the week before the new year, i travelled to Zhengzhou (about 45 miles away from here) by train. It was packed. Not just the seats, but there were people standing in the isles, and in between the train cars. Some of these people had been traveling this way for up to 20 hours. I managed to grab a seat because i'm a large loud lowei (and because i was quick to get on the train, and push my way through the crowd). It was cramped, and full, and boy did I want ot have a can of AXE body spray to make it smell better. To get home I arrived at the zhengzhou bus station 2 hours before the last bus, and I got on the last bus because I camped in that line first. And that was just a 45 minute train ride. Imagine if you lived in the east and had to work in the west. It could be as long as a 48 hour train ride (most people take the train, because they cannot afford to fly). Just imagine that trip especially if you can't afford a hard/soft sleeper or even a seat. And now many people are doing this on the way back to where they live.

I know many people who say thanksgiving and christmas are family time, so they travel home. They should thank the maker they can do it in America, because to do it in china is a nightmare.
So for the week before the chinese newyear and the week after it, everything closes down. The shops, the resturants, you name it, and most likely it is empty.

We went by school bus to zhengzhou on the saturday after new years (2 days later), and a city of 6 million appeared deserted (most people come to henan province to find work and leave for the festivals). We could walk down the street for 50 meters between people. A normal bustling side street was completely deserted. Of the 300 shops in that alleyway, only 2 were open.

AS for the festival itself, I will say even here in xinzheng (we are a small town only 600,000 people) it was a very nice impressive whole week affair. fire works of every size and shape, almost constantly. In fact criss was awakened in the middle of the night because the rate of fire works were so fast it sounded like water running on a tin roof.

Will

Voice of Will: Shanghai 1

2005-02-05 - 1:27 p.m.
A wonderfully busy and very hectic trip to shanghai.
So we are in the middle of a 2 month break for foreign teachers in china. (most teachers get the 1 months off with their schools, but we somehow managed to convince the administration we wanted christmas and new years off and got that plus the rest of the time. 7 weeks paid vacation is really nice.) Crissy decided it was ok for me to get away from the kids for a week, and I really needed it. So I got to travel with one of our collegues (Rita) and one of her former students (Michael). Both of them are fun, and we get along really well. So no big deal.

We flew out of Zhengzhou airport after a 3 hour delay for fog and landed in Shanghai airport in time for lunch. Then we got to the chinese version of travelling. Hurry up and wait. Run to buy tickets then sit around for a couple of hours, then run to the bus/train/airplane. We ran into this problem through out the trip. Another chinese travel technique is to cram as much into a trip as possible to see as much as you can. WE were gone for a week, and we saw 3 different major cities, 1 gigantic mountain, and 3 or 4 villages. That means less than one day at each location.

Shanghai we caught a 3 or 4 hour train ride to Hongzhou. Now trains are very affrodable in china, but everyone and their brother knows this, and they all travel this at this time (the Chinese new years is very important, imagine thanksgiving, christmas, new years and the 4th of july all wrapped up into one festival. The party starts the week before, and everyone is travelling to get home for about 2 weeks before, and 2 weeks after) So the train was packed. We get into Hongzhou at 8 pm without a hotel in advance. That was a recurring theme and a major frustration each and every night.

After walking for about an hour we finally found a hotel that would take us at a reasonable price and would have 3 in a room. The next day we have time to go to world heritiage site in hongzhou. Now you need to understand about world heritage sites. They are usually of significant importance to the country, and a very large source of revenue. It also means they are big tourist traps. The location was beautiful, the buddhist images were breathtaking (I really like maitraya sculpture, or the dharma protectors on dragons and tigers.) WE also attened a well known buddhist temple at the same world heritage site.

We even got to go to the West lake. If you have ever been to a really pretty lake, this is like it. You had fantastic views of the skyline of hongzhou, and the mountains surrounding the city.

A few words about hongzhou. It is BEAUTIFUL. Everything is clean, there are trees, green leaves, bushes, grass, and a lot less pollution. I wish our school was located here I would never want to leave. Even though the music was really bad everywhere we went. I think the people saw foreigners and grabbed whatever english music they had. WE ate lunch listening to Kenny Rogers "The Gambler" and Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton "Island in the stream" Now let that sink in. Here you are surrounded by chinese people, in a fully chinese resturant, eating really good chinese food, trying to relax, and you get "you got to know when to hold them, know when to fold them, know when to walk away, and know when to run" and you can hear the cook 'no wen da hold em, no wen da ford dem' in the back ground. Sometimes China makes my head hurt.
We were on a tight schedule, so there was no chance to sit back and relax and enjoy the atmosphere because we had to catch a bus in the late afternoon. We rush to the bus station to make sure we got there in time. We were 45 minutes early so we had to sit and wait.

We get on the bus and I find out it is supposed to be a 5 or 6 hour trip. Now I purposefully didn't want to know where we were going because I didn't want to ruin the suprise. But I really dont' like part of the suprise being speinding 1/4 of the day on a bus. At night (see previous entries about driving at night), in the winter. This point was made to me because coming down one side of a mountain, I can actually feel the rear end of the bus sliding on the road as the driver is fish tailing it around some of the curves. What is really interesting to me is that no one seem worried by this. I was reminded of a story about bus travel in china, as long as the passangers don't scream the driver can do it.

We get into a city I still dont' know the name of, and after be mobbed by a very large group of chinese who see Lowei and think like vultures, we managed to find an international Youth hostel. i like it other than the fact that even with the heat on, it felt like a refirdgerator. But the room was large, the shower had scalding hot water, and the bed could use the padding and blankets of the empty beds, it was great.

Next day we travel to the local villages. These villages are some of the oldest still standing villages in china, and have been used in several chinese movies (most notably Crouching Tiger, Hidden dragon. I have now been to almost every set in that movie (except the stuff in the desert)) These villages are interesting, and from a historical perspective very enlightening. But to someone not interested in the history, they just look like run down old buildings who have too much acid rain on the exteriors. To me it was a very informative indepth view of cultural china, including how people in the villages still live like this. We witnessed several people picking crops, doing their laundry in the stream which ran throught the village, using the same stream for garbabge dump, and bathroom, as well as watching a slaguthered pigs blood run into this stream. WE would go to houses and the owners would let us in to see the "cultural" relics and way of living. Very asture and beautiful, as well as back breaking and future devouring.

We then travelled from this area to the Mountain. Huangshan. We stayed the night in a hotel we found when we got off of the van we rented again about 8 pm in the pouring rain. This hotel was a 3 star hotel, and on the whole really rather good. They had a bathroom with a bathtub, and 3 large comfortable beds with a wonderful heater.

HuangShan is the mountain from Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, and it is immense. When we got to the top the sign said, 5 km this direction is one thing, 6 km in the other direction is something else. just wow. Very beautiful, but we got there in a deep fog, and the top of the mountain was covered in rain clouds. According to some people there it is cloudy over 200 days a year. But we had 30 minutes of clear views that were breathtakingly spectactular. Apparently a very well known geographer in china had visited the 4 great mountains (coincidentally enough at the 4 extremes of china, north, south, east and west) stated if you could only visit one mountain in china visist Haungshan and then you won't have to visit any others. We didn't dare climb it, the steps carved into the mountain were coated in ice and very slippery. Instead we took the cable car to the midway point. WE managed to make it to one of the designated points where there was a small store that charged 5x the going rate for a soda, and even water for making noodles. There is a very interesting hotel at the top of the mountain but we didn't get to stay there (I am thinking of taking crissy there if I can get a sitter for the kids for a week!)

But again we ran into how the chinese travel. We had only 4 hours at the mountain before we had to catch a bus to catch our train to Shanghai. The bus was crowded, and the train was an overnight train, but at least we got beds. No big deal.

More coming on shanghai tomorrow.

Will

Voice of Will: Losing Doc Tom

2005-02-03 - 8:54 a.m.
So when I got back from shanghai I had an urgent message to call my mother. fearing the worst I called home, and found my mom in a state of tears. I had to find out that one of my favorite people in the whole world had just passed away. I managed to help my mom out (it isnt like I can just walk in the door, that wonderful 14 hour flight that costs $900 each way, so here I am, stuck. Can't afford to fly back, and can't help my mom when she needs me)

Let me tell you a little about Tom. He was a friend of the familys. And I have often thought of him as an uncle. That is how much he has ment to me. I can remember him since I was 6 or 7 years old. About one time every week we would go over and visit at his house. My parents were friends with tom. We called him "Doc Tom" because he worked with his father who was one of the first allergists in Phoenix Az. Tom is my definition of style and grace for a man. He always carried himself with an air of importance (as a practicing Business Attorney, he was important for business and as a man he was just as important)
We would go over to his house and have dinner, sit around and visit. He used to have this purebred german/french poodle named Max. Beautiful dog, who went to the groomer every 2 to 3 weeks, who ate off the same china that we did, and I often joked that dog ate better than I did.

Tom was short (most people are next to me) about 5'9" or 5'10", had very curly hair (almost an afro it was that curly), and a booming laugh, a very sharp and quick wit, and the personality you loved to be around. His only deep belief (I ever knew) was the abiding belief that people around the world deserve to be loved and cherished. I never heard him mouth any racist or bigoted thought.

I have known he was dying for several years now. He told us about 6 years ago that he had prostate cancer, and we have kept in touch. With each year it got worse, but . . . compared with Crissy's dad (who died in 3 months after liver cancer was diagonsed) Tom seemed to live forever. Tom did not want to prolong any pain, he just lived his life as he had, and did his best. He knew it was time to go, and a gentleman ALWAYS leaves when he needs to.

I will miss you tom

Will