A month ago I went around to the people who have been my supervisors for the last three years and asked for letters of recommendation for a scholarship to get my PhD. I have already been accepted to a PhD program and have no problem with the work load or the idea of doing the degree while working. Especially since the degree is a distance degree and wouldn't cost me anything with the scholarship.
One of my supervisors gave me a glowing recommendation without hesitation. The second waited two weeks and then called me in for a meeting. In the meeting she quizzed me about my choices and the reasoning behind my choices. Why did I chose this school over much finer institutions, Why don't I go to a better school, Why am I trying to get this kind of degree. It was the kind of quizzing I would expect from someone who cares about me, so I didn't take it as a bad thing from her. I answered her questions and gave clear explanations.
First, it is a no-name school. Yes it is. It is NOT university of Phoenix. I am not stupid. But it is a completely distance school that is registered with the BBB and has full accreditation from the same body that accredits UofA, ASU, and NAU. I can accept that. Second, it is a distance PhD. Distance degrees are looked down on by nearly everyone in academia. Even though some of the programs are even more challenging than brick & mortar programs, it is still heavily questioned by academia, and in some cases there is huge reason to question the programs. Like with UofPhoenix. However, the scholarship that I am going for requires me to continue teaching in Ras Al Khaimah in order to get the funds. This means I had to chose something with either a very limited residency requirement, or to make the choice I did. Fully distance degree.
Third, the degree program I chose is one of the only ones that makes more sense as a distance degree than it would at a B&M. I have chosen to get a PhD in Educational Technology & E-Learning. There is nothing about that degree that makes sense in a B&M, it is just not reasonable to think that it should be face to face. It is all about distance and getting a distance degree in it just makes sense to me.
Finally, I want the scholarship. A PhD is a major financial undertaking and I have three kids who will be heading off to college in the next 5-8 years. I have already made plans to give some support to their educational future. I am very hopeful that I will be able to finish the degree as they are heading off to get their first.
I see this as a long term commitment, which also means that I would be sticking to this position and this location for the next 5-8 years. I have no issue with that. It is a nice place, I have friends, and I am doing so much with the field.
Within an hour after our meeting she sent me the letter of recommendation. I have never before received a letter of recommendation with as much glow as I did from this supervisor. Never. The letter makes me out to be one of the greatest teachers and colleagues she has ever worked with. It left me with a wow feeling.
Made me happy to have worked with her.
Then it was time to go to the big boss, the Director of the college to ask for a LoR. First I went to the assistant director because the Director is new and doesn't know me at all. She said she would be happy to, but I have to get one from the director first. So in to the directors office I go.
I am going to go off on a little tangent for a minute. I love my grandmother very much. I need to say that first because this is going to sound a little harsh without that pre-statement. I love my grandmother, but she is a seriously scary woman when she wants to be. She has that measure of metal and strength of character that can cow a person with ease. When she doesn't understand someones motivations, she has this incredible ability to grill a person that would put those TV police interrogators to shame.
Now, why did I bring this up? Because the director of the college tried to do the same thing. I need to clause this with the statement that this particular director believes that an office/ school should be run with fear to keep employees in line. I came in, sat down, and was promptly grilled. This didn't have the same feeling that I got from my former supervisor. Perhaps because she knows me and this guy has no clue who I am as a teacher or a colleague. There was a point in the "meeting" where the thought actually crossed my mind that I wanted to just say "Jeez, Grandma I am a grown woman and I do know how to make educated decisions." Most of his questions could be attributed to caring about the decision I am making. A PhD from a distance institution is considered crap by most main stream schools and it isn't likely that I will be able to use it in the same manner that my PhD friends do. I won't be able to expect to be treated like a formal researcher, won't be able to get a job on the merits of the degree.
But to me it is a free PhD. The only cost to me is the effort and time I put into it. That seems like a reasonable deal to me. The topic is timely and useful, it meets with my needs for the future, and since my plans do not run to working in a major Uni in a big city it should do fine. I just couldn't seem to get him to understand that. However, he did say he would write the letter of rec.
Yesterday I get notification from the director's secretary that she needs to ask me some questions. Apparently he asked her to write the letter of rec. I am disappointed. Hugely disappointed. He could have asked the assistant director to write it. At least she knows me. The secretary doesn't know anything about me, and on top of that is not a native English speaker. So what I got was a letter of recommendation with grammatical errors that highlighted the fact that the director didn't know me from Adam. It is I think the worst letter I have ever seen. It says absolutely nothing about my qualifications for the scholarship and nothing about my accomplishments since I started working there.
In fact, when I first read it I was so shocked the first thing I did was to set it down and go away for about two hours. I went to class, I mulled it over. Then I read it again. I thought perhaps I had overreacted to it. But no, it is in fact one of the most lackluster letters of Rec I have ever read.
This is the year I come up for contract renewal. I have been working here for 3 years. And in two weeks they are suppose to notify us whether we will be invited back for another term.
If I were to base my opinion on this letter, I would assume that there is no way they would be inviting me back. That is how bad it is. It doesn't say anything bad about me, it just doesn't say anything at all. I still thought I might be overreacting, so I scanned it and sent it to my husband to read. I asked him what he thought. He read it and replied that it was a "meh" letter. I have to agree. it is a meh letter. I couldn't possibly turn it in for a scholarship, I wouldn't trust the person who turned in a letter like that. I mean really!
So here I am with all of these options on my future read, and I am feeling about as low as I can get. This is the kind of situation for me where I am ready to walk over it. Let my contract end and simply move on. I am really that angry over it.
So I went out last night and had a drink with the girls from the office, which I don't do very often. In fact, they commented on the fact that I rarely go out. They attribute it to the fact that I have a family and that is true. But every once in a while it is nice to go out with them and hang. They are absolutely lovely. And every last one of them is old enough to be my mother (No offense mom), or older. We were talking, I hadn't brought up what was making me unhappy, and the topic of renewals came up. One of the girls told me that there should be no issue for me since I am probably the best teacher on the campus. I of course snorted and said something like "yeah, right".
"No really, you are probably one of the best teachers I have met, incredible in the classroom. Firm, fair, you love your students, and you do amazing things with them." I was actually stunned silent. The others rushed to agree and talked about my work and how they have come to rely on me. They talked about how my name is bandied in every department. Everybody knows me. Everybody likes me. In fact, they talked about how I am one of the few people who can work comfortably with anyone in the office. How I am put with some of the worst office personalities because I bring out the best in them. How no matter who I am with, I just seem to get along with them. My constant smile, my happy mannerisms, my willingness to help in any situation. Everybody's buddy, always ready to lend a hand. How my students talk about me even years later in their own classes with love and fond memories.
At this point I am thinking, Well shoot, I should really hang out with the girls more often. They are absolutely fabulous for my ego.
Then they drop the bomb. They are all leaving at the end of the year, except for one who can't leave yet due to money and health reasons. All of the girls are leaving. They despise the director, they hate the direction that things are going in, and they have watched several great teachers get crushed by the administrative regime. Then they ask me about my plans. So I told them. Originally I had planned to stick it out. After all, a free PhD is worth the sacrifices that I would have to make. However, after the letter of rec I got from the director, I don't think I am going to be invited back. There jaw dropping was classic. So one of them says to me that she is up for a director position at a new uni and would like very much for me to come with her as a teacher. She is great as a leader, she has years of experience as a director, and I would be able to work without that heavy fear feeling that seems to follow around at this place.
Honestly, I am thinking about it seriously. If not with her (though that would be awesome, like working with Rita again, a comfortable place to be) then perhaps with a different uni or even a return to the states. I am a good quality teacher, nominated for the Nikai innovative teacher of the year award (I lost to a team of teachers who made a great reading program, and they deserved it) as well as for the local teacher of the year award. My students still come to me constantly to talk about how much they miss me as their teacher and how much they love me. I deserve to have a little respect at work, by the people who actually make the decisions. I would rather be teaching in a school where I can do my teaching, love my students, inspire and be innovative, without the constant fear for my job. I could do so much more with that environment. But I wonder if it actually exists anywhere?
I was offered a position in Maryland with the Title 3 schools, which is considered a challenge and a half. But I wouldn't have to worry about my position there. I could focus on the teaching and the students. And I got to be honest, it is looking pretty damn good. And now that my husband finally has an MEd of his own, we should make a pretty marketable pair.
So the question that faces me right now is... if they offer me the contract, should I stay or should I go?
One of my supervisors gave me a glowing recommendation without hesitation. The second waited two weeks and then called me in for a meeting. In the meeting she quizzed me about my choices and the reasoning behind my choices. Why did I chose this school over much finer institutions, Why don't I go to a better school, Why am I trying to get this kind of degree. It was the kind of quizzing I would expect from someone who cares about me, so I didn't take it as a bad thing from her. I answered her questions and gave clear explanations.
First, it is a no-name school. Yes it is. It is NOT university of Phoenix. I am not stupid. But it is a completely distance school that is registered with the BBB and has full accreditation from the same body that accredits UofA, ASU, and NAU. I can accept that. Second, it is a distance PhD. Distance degrees are looked down on by nearly everyone in academia. Even though some of the programs are even more challenging than brick & mortar programs, it is still heavily questioned by academia, and in some cases there is huge reason to question the programs. Like with UofPhoenix. However, the scholarship that I am going for requires me to continue teaching in Ras Al Khaimah in order to get the funds. This means I had to chose something with either a very limited residency requirement, or to make the choice I did. Fully distance degree.
Third, the degree program I chose is one of the only ones that makes more sense as a distance degree than it would at a B&M. I have chosen to get a PhD in Educational Technology & E-Learning. There is nothing about that degree that makes sense in a B&M, it is just not reasonable to think that it should be face to face. It is all about distance and getting a distance degree in it just makes sense to me.
Finally, I want the scholarship. A PhD is a major financial undertaking and I have three kids who will be heading off to college in the next 5-8 years. I have already made plans to give some support to their educational future. I am very hopeful that I will be able to finish the degree as they are heading off to get their first.
I see this as a long term commitment, which also means that I would be sticking to this position and this location for the next 5-8 years. I have no issue with that. It is a nice place, I have friends, and I am doing so much with the field.
Within an hour after our meeting she sent me the letter of recommendation. I have never before received a letter of recommendation with as much glow as I did from this supervisor. Never. The letter makes me out to be one of the greatest teachers and colleagues she has ever worked with. It left me with a wow feeling.
Made me happy to have worked with her.
Then it was time to go to the big boss, the Director of the college to ask for a LoR. First I went to the assistant director because the Director is new and doesn't know me at all. She said she would be happy to, but I have to get one from the director first. So in to the directors office I go.
I am going to go off on a little tangent for a minute. I love my grandmother very much. I need to say that first because this is going to sound a little harsh without that pre-statement. I love my grandmother, but she is a seriously scary woman when she wants to be. She has that measure of metal and strength of character that can cow a person with ease. When she doesn't understand someones motivations, she has this incredible ability to grill a person that would put those TV police interrogators to shame.
Now, why did I bring this up? Because the director of the college tried to do the same thing. I need to clause this with the statement that this particular director believes that an office/ school should be run with fear to keep employees in line. I came in, sat down, and was promptly grilled. This didn't have the same feeling that I got from my former supervisor. Perhaps because she knows me and this guy has no clue who I am as a teacher or a colleague. There was a point in the "meeting" where the thought actually crossed my mind that I wanted to just say "Jeez, Grandma I am a grown woman and I do know how to make educated decisions." Most of his questions could be attributed to caring about the decision I am making. A PhD from a distance institution is considered crap by most main stream schools and it isn't likely that I will be able to use it in the same manner that my PhD friends do. I won't be able to expect to be treated like a formal researcher, won't be able to get a job on the merits of the degree.
But to me it is a free PhD. The only cost to me is the effort and time I put into it. That seems like a reasonable deal to me. The topic is timely and useful, it meets with my needs for the future, and since my plans do not run to working in a major Uni in a big city it should do fine. I just couldn't seem to get him to understand that. However, he did say he would write the letter of rec.
Yesterday I get notification from the director's secretary that she needs to ask me some questions. Apparently he asked her to write the letter of rec. I am disappointed. Hugely disappointed. He could have asked the assistant director to write it. At least she knows me. The secretary doesn't know anything about me, and on top of that is not a native English speaker. So what I got was a letter of recommendation with grammatical errors that highlighted the fact that the director didn't know me from Adam. It is I think the worst letter I have ever seen. It says absolutely nothing about my qualifications for the scholarship and nothing about my accomplishments since I started working there.
In fact, when I first read it I was so shocked the first thing I did was to set it down and go away for about two hours. I went to class, I mulled it over. Then I read it again. I thought perhaps I had overreacted to it. But no, it is in fact one of the most lackluster letters of Rec I have ever read.
This is the year I come up for contract renewal. I have been working here for 3 years. And in two weeks they are suppose to notify us whether we will be invited back for another term.
If I were to base my opinion on this letter, I would assume that there is no way they would be inviting me back. That is how bad it is. It doesn't say anything bad about me, it just doesn't say anything at all. I still thought I might be overreacting, so I scanned it and sent it to my husband to read. I asked him what he thought. He read it and replied that it was a "meh" letter. I have to agree. it is a meh letter. I couldn't possibly turn it in for a scholarship, I wouldn't trust the person who turned in a letter like that. I mean really!
So here I am with all of these options on my future read, and I am feeling about as low as I can get. This is the kind of situation for me where I am ready to walk over it. Let my contract end and simply move on. I am really that angry over it.
So I went out last night and had a drink with the girls from the office, which I don't do very often. In fact, they commented on the fact that I rarely go out. They attribute it to the fact that I have a family and that is true. But every once in a while it is nice to go out with them and hang. They are absolutely lovely. And every last one of them is old enough to be my mother (No offense mom), or older. We were talking, I hadn't brought up what was making me unhappy, and the topic of renewals came up. One of the girls told me that there should be no issue for me since I am probably the best teacher on the campus. I of course snorted and said something like "yeah, right".
"No really, you are probably one of the best teachers I have met, incredible in the classroom. Firm, fair, you love your students, and you do amazing things with them." I was actually stunned silent. The others rushed to agree and talked about my work and how they have come to rely on me. They talked about how my name is bandied in every department. Everybody knows me. Everybody likes me. In fact, they talked about how I am one of the few people who can work comfortably with anyone in the office. How I am put with some of the worst office personalities because I bring out the best in them. How no matter who I am with, I just seem to get along with them. My constant smile, my happy mannerisms, my willingness to help in any situation. Everybody's buddy, always ready to lend a hand. How my students talk about me even years later in their own classes with love and fond memories.
At this point I am thinking, Well shoot, I should really hang out with the girls more often. They are absolutely fabulous for my ego.
Then they drop the bomb. They are all leaving at the end of the year, except for one who can't leave yet due to money and health reasons. All of the girls are leaving. They despise the director, they hate the direction that things are going in, and they have watched several great teachers get crushed by the administrative regime. Then they ask me about my plans. So I told them. Originally I had planned to stick it out. After all, a free PhD is worth the sacrifices that I would have to make. However, after the letter of rec I got from the director, I don't think I am going to be invited back. There jaw dropping was classic. So one of them says to me that she is up for a director position at a new uni and would like very much for me to come with her as a teacher. She is great as a leader, she has years of experience as a director, and I would be able to work without that heavy fear feeling that seems to follow around at this place.
Honestly, I am thinking about it seriously. If not with her (though that would be awesome, like working with Rita again, a comfortable place to be) then perhaps with a different uni or even a return to the states. I am a good quality teacher, nominated for the Nikai innovative teacher of the year award (I lost to a team of teachers who made a great reading program, and they deserved it) as well as for the local teacher of the year award. My students still come to me constantly to talk about how much they miss me as their teacher and how much they love me. I deserve to have a little respect at work, by the people who actually make the decisions. I would rather be teaching in a school where I can do my teaching, love my students, inspire and be innovative, without the constant fear for my job. I could do so much more with that environment. But I wonder if it actually exists anywhere?
I was offered a position in Maryland with the Title 3 schools, which is considered a challenge and a half. But I wouldn't have to worry about my position there. I could focus on the teaching and the students. And I got to be honest, it is looking pretty damn good. And now that my husband finally has an MEd of his own, we should make a pretty marketable pair.
So the question that faces me right now is... if they offer me the contract, should I stay or should I go?
